Bittersweetness
August 3rd will be the seven year anniversary of my last day of cancer treatment. This summer I have continued to embrace the idea of "bittersweetness" as discussed in my last blog post because I believe it describes me at my core. I recently finished this book about bittersweetness, and the author writes about it as "a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow, an acute awareness of passing time; and a curious piercing joy at the beauty of the world." I feel fully understood by this word and this definition. I know I was definitely a "bittersweet" type before my diagnosis, but I also believe my diagnosis has further deepened this part of myself. When I was going through treatment, I would praise and indulge my body for feeling "healthy" in the off week before the chemo drugs returned - drenching my days and reducing my insides to a nauseating mess. The chemo infusion was bitter; the music my mom turned on for me while I tried to ...